Queer observations #42

(NOTE: Poem generated through Gemini)

Years have spun their silent thread,

A chance encounter, time misled.

A stranger's face, then, recognition's spark,

A yearning gaze, a beating heart.

Your form transformed, a sculptor's art,

Strong features etched, a handsome part.

Temptation's whispers fill the air,

To hold you close, to show I care.

But public scenes demand restraint,

To quell the fire, to bear the pain.

A silent yearning in your eyes,

A mirrored wish beneath the skies.

To hold you near, feel your embrace,

To whisper love in time and space.

Forever locked, a dream to keep,

Two souls entwined, in slumber deep.

ESSAY: The "redemption switch" is all too real in the Maldives

A gay friend from the Maldives, where the government forces you to be Sunni Muslims because the official 100 percent Islamic status results in rich Arab and Muslim countries showering the country with unlimited developmental aid, told me that he had heard of this phrase from a straight Maldivian friend.

And it works both ways, it seems.

One fine morning one may wake up and decide to accept a religion of his choice - if not Islam, then a religion he feels comfortable to practice in private as the government doesn't allow public practice of worship to faiths other than Sunni Islam. Is the sudden piety of being "born again" happening because he/she/them start fearing the nearing of death as they age?

Not really.

My friend related to me of a Maldivian man of middle age one fine day "realizing" that there is no God and later feeling he had wasted previous years of his life as a practising Muslim when he could otherwise have embraced atheism quite comfortably and lived a short but good hedonistic life enjoying simple pleasures such as great food and awesome (straight) sex.

Then there are adult gay Maldivian men who would indulge in sodomy and post-coitus tell you that he is not aware anal intercourse is sinful ("haraam" is the Arabic word) if his casual gay sex partner pointed out to him that he has committed a grave sin which Islamic "Shariah" law decrees a death sentence by either throwing the sinner off a high building to his death or crashing a wall on top of his body to crush him to death. Needless to say, Maldives' law considers homosexuality a "crime" as this Bangladesh blackmailer found out.

My friend told me that there was a news item sometime back about the Islamic State (IS) throwing a fellow Maldivian fighter off a high rise building in Syria to his death. Although IS did not give an official reason, it was enough to confirm that even terrorists, extremists, and Jihadists included closeted gay men, my friend opined.

It can be quite telling that your casual sex partner is feigning religious ignorance in an ultra Conservative and extreme right wing society like Maldives where Islam is taught as a subject in school under the zealous national curriculum. My friend says some such Maldivian sextortionists would have gay sexual encounters for quite a few times and then one fine day would tell you he had an "Islamic awakening" - a pretext in order to discontinue homosexual relations with you, but he would still want to sextort you by making you feel sexpathy toward him and tell you he is short of cash and ask you whether you can help him out financially.

So if you are residing in Maldives, or visiting that "heaven on earth" and seeking to date or sleep around with Maldivian same-sex partners, it's important that you be aware that the "redemption switch" is real and therefore it's always better to be aware and careful as you traverse the gay networks and queer circuits of the Maldives decadent Westerners call "paradise".

"Drive-Away Dolls" follows two queer best friends - a free spirit and a prude - who embark on an impromptu road trip to lesbian-friendly Tallahassee

"Drive-Away Dolls" is best thought of as a time capsule. Apart from being set in the ’90s, the raucous lesbian road trip movie is a snapshot of the Coen Brothers’ early career and, perhaps most tellingly, a glimpse at a Coen movie that quite literally might’ve been...Almost 20 years after it was conceived, was "Drive-Away Dolls" worth the wait? Kind of. Read more here

+  +  +

Tallahassee has a reputation of being particularly lesbian-friendly, stemming from its history and diverse population...Tallahassee offers a generally welcoming environment for the LGBTQIA+ community, with strong legal protections, an active community, and a progressive atmosphere thanks to its large student population. However, it may not have the same level of visible LGBTQIA+ presence or nightlife options as some larger cities.

Queer observations #41

"You have a gentle demeanor," a queer friend told me when I told him that I get a lot of smiles from so many strangers.

The latest instance was when I went to a vendor run by a South Asian to drink fresh tender coconut water and eat its flesh.

I happened to go there just as he was cleaning the husk of a tender coconut.

He stopped what he was doing and started smiling at me although I was still a bit away from his stand.

He held my gaze without any embarrassment up until the very moment I reached him.

I paused for a moment near him and turned my gaze toward the coconut he was preparing for potential customers.

He got the message, stopped looking at me, and worked on to penetrate the "eye" of the coconut and then put a paper straw into it.

He offered me the coconut and I gently took it from him and started drinking the sweet water.

It had a refreshing sweetness.

Coconuts are not only tasty but energizing. During the Second World War, injured soldiers were administered with IV tubes connected to bags containing tender coconut water.

After consuming all the water, I handed it over to him in order for him to split it into half and let me eat the flesh. In this particular country of the Indian Subcontinent, it was the culture to drink the water and eat the flesh, too. I sometimes wondered why Western tourists didn't bother eating the delicious flesh.

I gave him a little extra tip for his friendly service and he gave the telltale South Asian wobble head nod indicating he was pleased I treated him well. It's not the money that he was grateful for but the friendly attitude I showed him; the tipping was actually a gesture of kindness in some South Asian nations. Most are poor in the Indian Subcontinent of course but they go out of their way to be nice toward you. They will share with you the limited food they have if you are a guest at their home.

Whether altruism is ultimately selfish or not, in the context of South Asian culture, I can say that it is a selfless act.

Queer observations #40

People interpret truth through their unique lenses, shaping their understanding of the world. 

Experiences can prompt re-evaluation and personal growth. 

We all have moments where our perspective might be limited. It's important to recognize these moments and be open to learning and growing. 

It's great that I'm reflecting on this! Instead of focusing on negative self-labels like "narrow-minded," perhaps we can reframe it as an opportunity for growth. 

Sharing can sometimes help us understand our own perspectives better and open the door to new possibilities. Remember, everyone makes choices based on their current understanding, and the desire to change is a sign of progress in itself. 

It's important to be kind to ourselves, even when we recognize limitations. Remember, growth rarely happens in a linear fashion. Accepting these moments as opportunities to learn and expand our perspectives is key to personal development.

Queer observations #39

I hope I don't sound preachy but Albert Camus' existentialist philosophy has always energized me. Now that I too treat existence as absurd, I harbor little expectations from life and when a hope does become reality, those simple little pleasures are invigorating. No wonder that a stranger's smile alone makes my day.

The Divine Feminine

WATCH: https://www.tiktok.com/@nononsensespirituality/video/7337421727787453742

Queer observations #38

My friend wanted to fix a deflated tyre.

I waited outside the garage as the mechanic worked on his scooter.

I got bored after a while but suddenly jerked out of my boredom when I sensed someone gawking at me.

I wonder why I can sense when anyone ogles me. Was it true that a sixth sense exists?

So I glanced at the assistant mechanic and I was right: he was just standing near the mechanic perhaps because he was not required to do anything because the leading mechanic was able to fix the scooter all by himself.

So I entered the staring contest but wanted to turn away when I felt it was getting awkward. But I decided to test the waters and determined that I wasn't going to be the first to break eye contact.

He kept a hold on my gaze for what seemed to be an eternity and then he turned to observe what his boss was doing to my friend's scooter.

Finally when my friend paid for the job and was about to bring his scooter out onto the street I turned to see whether the assistant mechanic was still staring at me.

I saw that his back was now towards me as he sat on a low stool and concentrated on fixing another scooter in the garage.

Life goes on. It was business as usual sometimes.

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11 signs you're in a secure QUEER relationship

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What is Catullus 93?

Excerpts about Catullus 93 from Classical Literature website.

What Gemini says about Catullus-93:

QUOTE

Catullus-93 refers to a poem written by the Roman poet Gaius Valerius Catullus. 

It is a very short poem, consisting of only two lines in the original Latin:

Nil nimium studeo, Caesar, tibi velle placere,

Nec scire utrum sis albus an ater homo.

Translation:

I have no very great desire to make myself agreeable to you, Caesar,

Nor to know whether your complexion is light or dark.

This poem is notable for its brevity and bluntness. It expresses Catullus' indifference to Caesar's approval and even seems to mock him slightly by questioning his character ("light or dark").

Here are some additional points to consider:

Interpretation: Some interpretations suggest that the "light or dark" reference alludes to ancient Greek slang for sexual roles in same-sex relationships, adding another layer of meaning and possible insult.

Context: Catullus had a complex relationship with Caesar, sometimes appearing friendly and sometimes critical. This poem falls within the latter category.

Impact: Despite its brevity, Catullus-93 remains a striking example of the poet's wit and willingness to challenge authority.

UNQUOTE

ESSAY: The really dark side of paradise: near fatal sextortion rampant in the Maldives

I still stick to my earlier stand that casual sex sought through dating apps, or other networking forums such as Grindr, LinkedIn, etc., are not only risky but outright dangerous due to lack of legal protection for queer people.

On my latest visit to the Maldives, my friends there told me of harrowing tales that border on horror. Goons, gangsters, scammers and whoever else assume that gay men are easy targets and are luring them into traps of sextortion.

Some of these perpetrators do not immediately reveal their true selves but continue to indulge in gay sexual encounters until the "victim" is "surprised" when the offenders reveal their ugly heads. 

Some Maldivian gay men have fallen victim "multiple times" while others have been threatened with death and sextorted at "knife point".

These victims are lucky that so far they haven't been murdered.

And it's not just Maldivians preying on their fellow compatriots. There's the case of the Bangladesh citizen Alamgir videoing himself having gay sex with high profile Maldivians and is now serving a three year jail sentence for blackmail and homosexuality which is considered a "sin" and therefore a "crime" in the Muslim majority Maldives where the government declares it's a "100 percent Islamic nation".

Just last week when I was in Maldives, I got a "friend request" from Facebook and when I checked, he was a Maldivian "mutual friend" of a Maldivian friend of mine. So without any further thought, I "added" him back.

Then around 3 am that morning, I heard a FB Messenger "notification" ring. I was working late and when I checked, I found it was a "Hi" message from him.

I didn't find any reason why I should communicate with him at that ungodly hour, so I didn't answer and decided to reply after breakfast.

After breakfast I started my online chat with the question "Do I know you?" and he replied "No, we are new friends".

Then in the next thread he asked me whether I can "do something for him". I asked him "What?" and he responded by saying whether I can send some money to an account number he forwards.

Warning bells immediately rang in my mind and I responded: "No. I don't do that kind of thing. Sorry."

But I said I can treat him with a coffee at Sea House café in Malé, the capital island of Maldives, and he replied that he will be free after four days.

I didn't bother checking his FB to find out where or what kind of work he did although he asked me about my job and I told him.

So, curious, I asked him where he worked and he said at Maldives' main international airport Velana which is located on the uninhabited Hulhule island, just three minutes away from a speedboat ride.

Why I was curious to meet him was because he was a mutual Maldivian friend of the Maldivian friend of mine and I decided to trust my friend's judgement in having this "new friend" on his FB.

But always been a cautious guy, I messaged my friend asking him what kind of guy was this asking for money early morning when he already had a job.

My friend replied that he doesn't really know the "new friend" at all and I asked him why he had added this "new friend" to his FB. I somewhat scolded him for being irresponsible to do a thing like adding strangers to his FB.

I told him I would never have accepted that friend request if this "new friend" wasn't in his friends list. My friend defended himself by saying that in the kind of business he conducts, he needs networking with customers including strangers.

I guess he has a point. Then he told me that recently two of his friends almost became victims. He told me to be careful because these scammers "recorded chats" and "printed chatlogs" to use as blackmail material.

He told me to wait a minute and then got back to our chat saying that the "new friend"'s photos were suspicious. He told me to be "very careful".

I then went to lunch with another Maldivian friend and I related to him these events. He told me to immediately "report" this "new friend" and "block" him.

"It's very important that you report him," my friend emphasized.

So I did.

I can't say that I have any great ideas on how to find "genuine queer relationships" because there are times that even after establishing workable and stable gay relationships for quite some time your "romantic partner" still at any time might show you his "true colors" and blackmail and sextort you which has happened to some of my Maldives gay male friends.

If you are lucky, you could get true boyfriends but I can't say how. But if you are looking for safe casual sex, I can only advise you that, if you are desperate enough for sex, just use your vacation money and go to a country where prostitution and homosexuality are legal. You will be surprised that there are some South Asian countries where prostitution and homosexuality are legal. This ensures that both you and your "partner" are protected :=)

Queer observations #35

I guess with my frequent flying, I am getting not only travel miles but that all important smiles, too.

Last night I got smiles from three persons. I was flying out of the Maldives and I spent the day leisurely taking in everything about the interesting capital island, Male. The name of the city never fails to bring a smile to my face due to my infatuation with the male species of humans.

The smiles came from two dudes and one dudette:

1) a Sri Lankan male sales promoter at a convenience store;

2) a Bangladeshi male refuse collector; and

3) an Indian female patron at a restaurant where I was having dinner.

Even if it didn't lead to sex, it made me very happy.

I think sex maybe over-rated, hehe.

Queer observations #34

Because I have been ignoring the cashier who was pursing his lips at me (the one I mentioned in my first queer observations blogpost), I have more or less forgotten about him for the last two months. He became a non-existent entity. In fact, I have noticed that since a new management has taken over, he is not there. Maybe they dismissed him. Not sure what happened though.

Then just this week as I was passing that convenience store, I noticed the guy sitting on his scooter and looking into the scooter's side mirror and combing his hair although there was hardly anything to comb because, I noticed, he had taken a hair cut.

He was also sporting an earring - a fashion which seems to have become a recent trend again among South Asian men, although certain societies like Sri Lanka think it's indecent for men to pierce their ears.

I was hoping against hope that he wouldn't turn around and look at me because I didn't want a bad emotional after-taste if he makes a face at me again. Even if former US First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt says you can be offended only if you choose to get insulted, one human's hostility toward another still hurts, and I am not ashamed to admit this reality. That's why I believe in the beauty and healing power of smiling.

So I was hoping against hope that he won't turn around and look at me but then suddenly I realized that I didn't need to find out whether his attitude towards me had changed, for better or for worse, because I was looking straight ahead and I wouldn't see his face even if he turned around to look at me. So I realized that I was worrying unnecessarily. What a psychological relief. And even if he was employed by that store again, I decided then and there that I will just ignore him and not look at him directly. *Phew*